Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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