i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
