i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my poor anus
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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