someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
