Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
