Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
