my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
