I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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