If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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