my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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