The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
