i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
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She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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