Someone shit on the floor
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
