the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
