actually, I'm a sock model
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
