What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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