I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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