at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
