Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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