I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
