It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
