You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
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he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
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How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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