I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
