She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
