i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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