Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
