if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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