Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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