no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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