I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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