Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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