OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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