Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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