Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i will never coherently bang her
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
