I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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