If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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