this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
