Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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