we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
