before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
