I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
