he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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