i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i out mim tonsoeep
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