Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
