But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Enjoy the penises
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
