I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she smelled like a LAN party
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
