Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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