I love watching others lives come down to our level.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize