She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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