My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
His hands were made for my vagina.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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