Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
