well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
