so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize