Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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