I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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