She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
His nipple licking is glorious
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